Thank you

I thought I do not have it in me already
When I go to choir and do nothing
I thought I do not have the right to say anything anymore

To know that people still view my music critique that high like once before
I am grateful
Makes it harder to let go
but still grateful =)

Thank you~ you might not know how that affects me =)
but thank you~

August

Hi, you the last month of the 3rd quarter of the year.
I'm not ready for you but who can stop time.
6 months left to be fully in Malaysia.......

Just got my project title 2 days back
Design a main drainage system for a housing developement
Drainage is not my forte but I guess that is where you learn stuff about things that you don't know
Not going to aim for best project, but trying to learn what I can on Hydrology that I hate so much

I've change my view in life
Maybe knowing that I'm not going to be here any longer is a good thing
but thinking about both parents that have to work their ass out at an age that supposed to be enjoying life
just in order to let me have a brighter future than they do just saddens me
This here brings in the government that eats money and made RM such a small currency that I despise on

I don't want to be selfish, I'm pretty content with life.
I won't complain much even if I were to study degree in Inti
But having bigger dream, bigger goals
I wouldn't mind stepping out when my dad urges......
Korea can wait, in 10 years time I'm pretty sure it'll still be there, but my dad might not be


Crying while writing this isn't a good idea
But left with only 2-3 months to apply for the Uni and 6 months to live this life I have here
and after this 6 months we are all saying farewell
It's hard not to
I wonder how my sister felt when she left around 6 years ago

Hopes, Dreams and Goals..... I have them aplenty...
But when the fear is so huge and it comes together in the name of both parents
You doubt whether your courage is enough to overcome it.

Regrets I have none of them and I don't believe regrets help you in life
But
If my dad were to pass away without his foot stained by New Zealand grounds, his lungs filled with New Zealand air, his stomach contaminated with New Zealand food.
I think I probably won't be able to forgive myself.
And my mom......... She just needs to know that I'm able to fund both of them~
That's how simple mom's mind is.

Living my life to cater the people that matters to me
I'll feel pretty much content with life
That's all I need to remember

이젠 끝이야

Looks like I'm going to do a lot of things....... for the last time.

instead of always being selfish
I'm doing things for people....
For the people that matters.

I just hope I'm never too late.

To life, may we live the way we desire.

Subtle messages~

"… everything isn’t over till everything is okay ...." - Drinking Therapy by karmapolis@sj-world.net


Did I say how much I love this fic??

Purple Egg appears again when there's a show

Your first show of the last three shows =)
Do well, travel save~~
I know these shows means a lot to you....
I wish I even seen one, but still one of your fans flew from US to see you...
Just thought that you should know~ hehehe~

규타녕~!~! 화이팅~~ <3

For every read, I catch a different thing~

“We all have different perceptions on what friends can be. For me, the standard is quite… high. Honestly I can count people I consider friends on one hand.” -quote from Drinking Therapy by karmapolis@sj-wold.net-


This speak volumes about my life.....


I love this fanfic more and more every time I read it~

달팽이

집에 오는길은 때론 너무 길어 나는 더욱 더 지치곤 해
문을 열자마자 잠이 들었다가 깨면 아무도 없어
좁은 욕조속에 몸을 뉘었을때 작은 달팽이 한 마리가
내게로 다가와 작은 목소리로 속삭여줬어

언젠가 먼 훗날에 저 넓고 거칠은 세상 끝 바다로 갈거라고
아무도 못봤지만 기억속 어딘가 들리는 파도소리 따라서
나는 영원히 갈래

모두 어딘가로 차를 달리는 길 나는 모퉁이 가게에서
담배 한개비와 녹는 아이스크림 들고 길로 나섰어
해는 높이떠서 나를 찌르는데 작은 달팽이 한 마리가
어느새 다가와 내게 인사하고 노랠 흥얼거렸어

언젠가 먼 훗날에 저 넓고 거칠은 세상 끝 바다로 갈거라고
아무도 못봤지만 기억속 어딘가 들리는 파도소리 따라서
나는 영원히 갈래

내 모든걸 바쳤지만 이젠 모두 푸른 연기처럼 산산히 흩어지고
내게 남아있는 작은 힘을 다해 마지막 꿈 속에서
모두 잊게 모두 잊게 해 줄 바다를 건널거야

언젠가 먼 훗날에 저 넓고 거칠은 세상 끝 바다로 갈거라고
아무도 못봤지만 기억속 어딘가 들리는 파도소리 따라서
나는 영원히 갈래


***Let me listen to this forever***

It stays

I guess it won't go away as soon as I want it too
It's alright....
It's not like I've never gone through this a thousand times before.

Balance

You are one hard ass to handle....
You bring unnecessary frustration that I seriously don't need..
Guess watching me crying to sleep is fun...
Feeling sorry to people that I should not have...

The more this year is coming to an end, the more I can't say no to you.
I might succumb to your words again....



I hate myself.
Fuck this shit.

Things that does not change

The Earth that spins

The Moon that circles it

The Sun that keeps shining

and

how Kyuhyun is always here~

I pretty much owe my life to him....

Thanks once again....

You saved my sanity...... again~ =)

The day my PC dies

A faithful Sunday night~
After a couple of fruitless tries to install AutoCAD to my PC....
my PC rejected it because the processor doesn't have a thing called SSE2..
Blasted beans.
Dismantled the whole thing and kidnapped my sister's PC.
She doesn't have a monitor anyway~

ANYWAY~
My brain is dead from all this installing crap...
Then I rushed my last assignment and report today.
Also trying to rush my project title to submit by this Wednesday, but my supervisor is SO hard to reach.
Doing Main Drain by the way..... =_=
The things that you hate will always find you....
Fluid *creeps*

I'm just real dead tried.......

Positive news~
There are 41 orders of 5th album..... *claps* *throws confetti*
41 orders total of 67 albums~ =)
It will be a horror to pack and send them out, but the more the merrier... =)
and donations are very WOW worthy.. =)
considering RM is an all time low, KRW and USD is rising now --- should have did it when USD was low
But still happy~ =)

There's a few more weeks to the comeback...
it's sad, yet happy thing...
Well, if you follow anything Super Junior you might have already know Jungsoo and Heechul isn't at all young.
Their military service is due, both of them said next year should be it.
Both are waiting to receive some kind of letter shipping them to some place.
But anyhoooooo, take responsibility when it is due...
Didn't say I won't going to miss them, but I probably won't cry over it... =)
It's a good thing...... and Super Junior still lives. =)
Anyhooooo~~~ can't wait for the comeback...

Also, together with their comeback, the fandom is in uproar again.
I hearby say......
Please do not believe in rumours that has no proper source what so ever....
***plainly STOP BELIEVE IN CHINESE SITES***
There's where 80% of the rumours starts.
the other 20% from Twitter, Tumblr and facebook.
Sungmin dyeing his hair Neon Green is the most absurd I've heard,
and you are not gullible to believe but plain stupid.
He is on Jack The Ripper....... WHAT NEON GREEN HAIR?
You must not be a fan to begin with. LOL~
Also~~~~ People who doesn't read what SJW wrote about the album sales, please don't spread false rumour about SJW. Thank you~ It's getting pretty annoying.

Anyway~~~~ People have a good life, and..... oh well, behave.

There's always a reason.....

...to feel exceptionally uneasy.

The emptiness that was knocking on to my door.
has broke the hinges and barged in.

For a moment, I'll just feel hurt.
just a moment, then I'll regain myself =)

Empty

This feeling of emptiness, creeps slowly into the room that I'm in.

Knocking on the door to a place I would not want to let it in

Recently distant is all I felt, I don't know why.

A phase, some calls it, I wish I call it too.

November is closing in, that application form I must fill in.

Offer letter with condition is what I get.

22 years of life is what I lose.

I point my fingers at this excuse, but was it the right one?

Even I don't know, so who would understand?

Distant is self made, or it appears one time to test, the strength and bond of each other.

Even with this, I felt I am far away from where I am.

Because I'm in a good mood

I should blog something when I'm in a good mood because I have too many emo post

and then I came here and stare at the screen for 5 minutes and don't know how to continue

LOL~ Me being happy is so hard.
anyway~
I've switched rooms...
From my favourite small room with a window above my bed (good place to emo)
to a large room with my sister. =_=

Don't know if this is a good thing~
But I guess we shall take it as it comes~ =)
On to staying in a shared room, after 4 years of living alone in a room. LOL~ =D

rbgus~

That smile of yours...
Please stay that way~ =)
Please don't be too hard on yourself during IS2..
tkfkdgo~

讨厌

就是讨厌你
My never ending wish for you to grow up is REALLY never ending
Gosh...

I miss you
you awkward purple egg

I see you having a great and awesome time during MT
you are always happy when you are busy with The Three Musketeers =)

Though you only have three stages
I hope you have fun and enjoy every stage
I know you would

Still....
I miss you....

Drifted apart

There are times like these
that I felt that we are no longer that close knit group of friends that we were
There are times like these
that I felt that we should let go what we were holding on to so dear
There are times like these
that I felt that we are hoping on to a thin fine line of forever that doesn't exist

There are times like these
that I felt that I have wronged you guys and my selfish self have got to apologise in order to go on

I'm sorry for all the things that I've done and said to hurt, annoy any of you guys...
I hope there are more days together, more happy times together.
Though you might not know what it was, or you know that there are things that I did to you.....
I hope you guys accept my sincere apology.

I just have to do this, because I felt distance, distance that I don't want it to be there.
and the change.................

WTF - this says it all right, somehow in this world of impossible, there's still hope of forever.
To you guys..... =)

In life, there are always two

one of the opposite.

You can look at the world as a physical object
or you can view it as a soulful place.

You choose your way,
at the beginning of things,
and most of the time, you won't get to change it halfway through.

Because as this world changes and important things sets in,
at the end of the day,
I hope I can learn more things about the heart than securing a place at The Top.

This world is a show.......
but even a show has at least 20% truth in it.

The heart should feel sadness, joy, anger, resentment, frustration, gratefulness and many other things.
Do not shut them out.
Otherwise, in life, there won't be two anymore.

What reality is..........

I wish this is a fairy tale instead of a nightmare.