My Story

August 24th, I didn't know the date at first until my sister wrote it on instagram.
To me, it was just another day, to her was a day of rejoice.
That was because I might not know, I might not understand what has already taken and is taking place.

At the age of 16, it is the honeymoon year, or so the Malaysian students say.
2005 was the year, I had a smooth teenage life.
I had wonderful friends, a wonderful class, not so wonderful grades though.
Funny how when you are at the top, you will see flaws in your life that you never see before.
Flaws that came in the form of family and myself.
So I slowly fell into this little depression that I didn't know, didn't realised I had.
I started to ignore school, never studied for examination
Skipped classes, never handed up any of my homework
It is still a wonder to me how I slithered away from getting detention then

But I never really remember much about that year

I remembered this though
My friend invited me to her church one day
That was my first time stepping into a church
It was a Friday night
they are a bunch of youth, all lively and happy,
It was a Youth Service
if I remember what Jean told me.
My friend told me once that in order to get San's attention
it must always through songs.
Through song it did, when they started the service with Praise and Worship.
Hillsong's One Way was the song, I remember.
I wanted to know, I was curious - that was the start.
As I was 16, I would still need to rely on my parents going anywhere.
In the car, one sentence from my parents stopped me from asking them anything further.
"You can go to churches, but you cannot be a Christian"

If I love kpop because of its songs..
I wouldn't be only indulging in Super Junior
And love other non idols...

So please don't judge my delusional state of mind
Because anyone can dream
so let me dream mine.

Found this in kpopsecrets.tumblr.com

This is one of the most beautiful thing I've read.

Fandom should have more of this kind.... =)

I will never admit it

and I will never do it.

Sometimes I wish I'm honest to everyone else, but I can't.
This "it" will stay with me till I die.








that being said, I wish I can find one person that I can tell that "it" to.
The cries of help who will be able to hear it?

3rd Gate

So many feelings right now.....
Hell, I'm missing it before I even left.

So many Zhou Mi and Hyukjae feelings especially....... T-T

Going to miss it a whole lot

I do not have a close encounter.
Nor do I get to see them upclose either.

But I'm going to miss this feelings.
This little feelings that makes you heart jump.
I'm going to miss it a whole lot.....
when I'm forced to leave it behind.

Loving you hurts so bad

It just hurts~~~
and for the fact that me hurting and complaining will not change a thing hurts more.

I don't want to know~
I don't need to know~
Don't tell me...
I don't want to feel like this anymore.....
I have only 4 months~
Let me love them like I want to love them for 4 months~
That's all I'm asking.

The End is just depressing

Two things that I don't want, will never want to see the end of it...

Super Junior

SS Gang

Two things in my life......
that must not end......

My heart....... T_____________T
/crying endlessly watching Strong Heart/

And the things I see, Super Junior and SS Gang have so much in common...
A non-coloured, doesn't change friendship, let's go on till forever...
With SS Gang...
And Super Junior.

Getting out of or getting back in my system

I'll not dip my head in the world a little more

just the surface

But you look perfect as always

hmmmm........

This is Goodbye, for a little while....

My heart can't really take it...

But I think I need it...

Till next time, love~ <3

Keep doing what you love and be happy...

You are best at it =)

and you look best when you have that kiddy smile on you

Be well~~ =)

I'm a proud fan

They are at 3rd on the Billboard World's Album Charts~~
Did I say how proud I am..... since the very first day they come back with this album...
I seriously have not been a prouder fan...

It makes it harder to let go...
It makes everything harder...
But I'm still proud...

like I said...
Let me love Super Junior forever...

Let me...........

Let me be that delusional fangirl for once

"Thanks To"s are spreading everywhere
Well, today is the 3rd and the albums hit the stores
I was fine while reading the absurdity of Kyuhyun's brain
The amount of nicknames for people he knows and words that make no sense
aaaand his starcraft friends with all the flamboyant character names...
drive every translator in this ELF fandom crazy

However
I got hold of Ryeowook's
and his love for the members are evident in his words
Kangin was mentioned, Hangeng was mention, Kibum was mentioned
All with such love, my heart is aching

Then I got hold of Donghae's
OTLed because it was not a Thanks To but a freaking ESSAY
so I waited for the translation........ and then I got it.
the pipe burst and the tears starts coming down
"After 5jib we will not be releasing anymore Super Junior albums temporarily."
This line just rings around my ears for like ever.
together with my tlist, we are all a mess.
trying to suck it in because I have order calculation to do...


It has never hit as hard as how Heechul hinted through his tweet the other day
Heechul hinted
Donghae said it right at your face
I know......I knew that this is the last one for I don't know how long
I knew it since SS3.....
I knew it since even then...
But now it is here....
The beginning of the end....


As I am trying to wrap my head *again* at the pending end
my friend tweeted
"It's not the last. 믿을게요."
"If we don't have faith in them who will."
I'm going to hold on, Super Junior is here..... will be here
I'm going to accept everything that's going to happen in this promotional period
and enjoy this last few months


This will be my closure
as I'm leaving too.


I love you, Super Junior....
Thank you for all the joy that you brought my life
I'm glad that I stay with you guys till this day
And I'll wait for the day you guys make a comeback~
Be it after 10 years..... I'll still wait for it.
*Jungsoo and Heechul will be 40 OMG~ and others late 30s LOL*


우리는 슈퍼주니어에요~
우리는 엘프예요~
우리는 하나~ 영원히~
사랑해요~

Yesterday night

Yesterday night was awesome...
Wasn't really affected much by Dongha's suicide during the concert unlike SS3...
But I somehow was reminded about it when I looked at Kyuhyun
But most of the time, he is far from me...
You know the SJM line up...
Kyuhyun stands to the right most of the time with Mi and Hyuk...
And I was at the left side of the stage.
While during his solo, he didn't walked out to the outer stage just stood at the middle and sang.
Only saw him towards the end of it when he finished singing Super Girl they switched places to stand..

Henry was at our side the most...And it was awesome.
Henry's like 3 meters away from me...
Tried really hard to raise the SJW Henry towel when he looked over to our side..
and he is every bit of awesome.
He waved, he smiled, and tried to look for placards.
I'm pretty sure he is because he kept scanning our side of the crowd.
And he performed Off My Mind...
Malaysian crowd is the first one to listen to it live. =)
and it was awesome...

Zhoumi was awesome too....
He sang 3.00am by Z-Chen
LOL~ a friend of Zhoumi, a Malaysian Singer.
Skinny, tall, need some fat in him and awesome features... =)
Awesome voice he has... really.
can lum sei see him sing.

Sungmin didn't do a solo, which is pretty sad....

you can check my RTs coz I RT-ed a lot.
other than that yesterday night is awesome.
they had on very heavy make-up though.

<3 Kyuhyun =)

If you guys can ignore the mainland already.

T-T

Seriously, what is good there.

They don't love you.
They don't love you at all.

西風的話

I love their voices so much~

/crying

Happy Birthday, dear Hyukjae

Happy Birthday, Hyukjae~

Stay forever cheerful and pick the members up when they are in the verge of breaking down like you did Heenim

I always have one part of my heart for you~

Hyukjae the person who bonds Super Junior

Happy Birthday~
Have a blessed every day~ =)

Hyukjae, you deserve the best for being who you are. =)

Taiwanese fans, I love you~
You guys are like the best fans that anyone can have.
The fireworks are awesome =')

*crying IDE*

I knew you couldn't let go~ =)

Hyukjae, you one ball of cute fluffy things.

Three days away from Sukira for SJM activities

And you called in to Sukira for three times~

Yes we know, Sukira must run with you in it~~~ XD

Don't worry
Kyuhyun said he'll push you out the door and back to Korea when the plane take flight from Beijing to Taiwan.

*but Kyuhyun ah... why is Hyuk in Taiwan with you? =P You've forgotten to push him out?*

*reasons why I love Hyukjae and Kyuhyun Super Junior <3*

It is going to be different without you, Hyukjae

Hyukjae is leaving Sukira soon to join the activities in Taiwan through SJM.

I guess he sang that song with a meaning behind it, yesterday(14/2/2011 which was also the release of the new SJM song).

Hyuk, I love you in SJM, but Sukira is never going to be the same without you.

4 years is never nothing. T-T

He doesn't even want me to go on hiatus

He appeared in Sukira

as the special guest DJ for crying out loud

and sang this

and many other songs

He is going to be the death of me... I'm sure of it.

butthurt fan! butthurt fan! butthurt fan!

Top Selling Album of 2010 : Super Junior's Miinah

with NUMBERS, mind you

Eat my dust, Golden Disk oh-so-fair-and-prestigious Award

Thank you Gaon Chart.

*butthurt fan alert*